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Impact Write-Up (May 13th, 2010): Two Times the Tara, Lacey Von Face?, More Randomness

So it’s been awhile since I’ve had to do an Impact Write-Up and to be honest, I’ve enjoyed my little vacation from the asinine side show that has become Total Non-Stop Action. I, for one, am incredibly glad that TNA copped out on this whole Monday Night Wars 2.0 thing because they were getting anally raped and not in some sadistic, kinky way. Once upon a time, the Knockouts flourished on Thursday nights. They ran the company with their perfectly manicured hands balled into tiny iron fists. They set the standard for women’s mainstream wrestling and made the Divas seethe with envy over their greatness. If there truly is a wrestling god (I’m talking to you, JBL!) then this move for TNA back to Thursday nights will light a fire under the collective asses of “management” over there and us Knockout fans will get to see our girls shine like the sun on a perfect, late Spring day. No more clouds in the sky for the Knockouts. Use them wisely, TNA. They are your ratings!

How’s that for an intro?

So this week’s Impact is the first official Thursday show, not to mention the last show before TNA Sacrifice. There was a lot of Knockout action tonight and you know, it actually seems slightly interesting. Tara competed not once, but twice tonight against Taylor Wilde and Sarita. The Beautiful People had a backstage segment and Madison Rayne finally told everyone they needed to let the new girl run with the ball and basically just accept the fact she is champion. Velvet Sky continued to be snarky towards Lacey Von Erich, who showed the first signs of what I feel could be a face turn coming in her future. And Chelsea starred in a fun angle that basically dominated the entire show. I hope you guys are ready for all the HKA… hot Knockout action!

The Beautiful People are backstage with Jeremy Borash and it’s basically Madison’s chance to get people hyped up for Sacrifice. She calls Tara out on her ridiculous behavior and psycho-like obsession for the Knockouts Championship. Madison reminds everyone that she is champion now and that basically it’s her turn to run the Knockouts division. Madison puts over the fact that she’s a fresh face for the division and then Velvet chimes in that all the gold will stay where it belongs come Sunday because she says so. Lacey Von Erich, who’s been spastic this entire time, cuts Velvet off before she can finish, steals Velvet’s line, and basically runs off to pee. Velvet gets seriously irritated but Madison gently reminds her that Lacey is really pretty and the segment fades back to the ring area. Tara versus Taylor Wilde is next.

Taylor Wilde is out to the ring first and she has Sarita with her. They do their horrible ring entrance (what’s up with female tag teams having choreographed entrances now?) and then Tara makes her way out. She’s looking fit and feisty, and we get reminded about all the drama she had last week with Taylor and Sarita. Wilde is attempting to look tough at this point and honestly, her acting makes me laugh. She’s like a little poodle who’s trying to stare down a raging bulldog and it’s not going to end pretty for her, I’m sure. The referee orders Sarita out of the ring and now we have two former Knockouts Champions about to go at it.

Tara turns her back to Wilde, and begins to badger Sarita. That gives the Canadian a chance to catch Tara off guard and she fights the bigger woman down to the mat. The referee pulls Taylor off of Tara, and Tara rolls out of the ring. She attempts to collect herself, but Taylor is perched on the ring apron and comes flying off. Tara is taken to the ground, mounted, and punched repeatedly in the face and head. Taylor is once again pulled off Tara and she’s not really overjoyed by it. Tara rolls into the ring and when Taylor follows after her, Tara attempts to take her down. Taylor ducks and takes Tara down with a knee to the abdomen.

Tara backs up to the ropes and begs Taylor to stop. The blonde is understandably weary at this request and motions at Tara to come at her. Tara is pleading with Taylor, saying that they’re friends and whatnot, and all Taylor can do is glare. She’s not buying it and for some reason, she gets the bright idea to charge at Tara. Tara sends her flying through the ropes and Taylor lands on the entrance ramp. Tara gets out of the ring and slams Taylor’s face off the floor only once before tossing her back inside. She grips the ropes and attempts to somersault onto Taylor, but Taylor moves and Tara lands on her pancake!

Taylor springs into action via the middle rope and launches herself off. Tara catches her with a sloppy kick to the stomach but Taylor sells it anyway because that’s her job. Tara goes for the cover and gets the three count, which is a shady ending to a pretty nice little match but oh well. Tara rips off her own kneebrace and begins to beat down Taylor with it. Taylor acts like she’s getting nailed to the cross. Apparently the pain she’s feeling from this post match attack is excruciating. Sarita finally makes the save and Tara bolts, receiving a nice round of applause and a light chant on her way out.

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Impact Write-Up (May 3rd, 2010): TNA Should Cleanse Their Booking Staff, One Ugly Person At A Time

When it comes to TNA, they always drop the ball when it comes to the live shows so imagine my surprise and shock when they exceeded even my low expectations this week. Announced over the weekend, was a title match where all three titles were on the line; The Beautiful People defending against Tara, Taylor Wilde, and Sarita. It sounds good on paper (sort of…) but it was an actual hot mess on television. The MIA tag team known as Saritaylor were mere stand-ins tonight and TNA’s weird booking once again came into play. If you want to watch the mess unfold, go ahead and click the video. If you don’t, then I don’t blame you. I want to forget Impact was even on television last night.

Even though it was a crappy night for the Knockouts as a whole, it was a decent night for the Beautiful People. Earlier in the show, Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky, and Lacey Von Erich were seen backstage in their lockerroom. All three girls were either sitting or standing at their vanity table and they were messing with their make-up and just generally looking at themselves in the mirror. They were having a conversation about how hard it was to be a champion and Lacey starts talking about how her back is always killing her. She goes on to say that things aren’t so bad during the day but when she wakes up after a good night’s sleep she is basically in a world of hurt. Velvet gives her a look and politely tells her she’s not supposed to wear the title to bed. Lacey is like “I thought we weren’t supposed to take them off” and the other two girls just groan. Madison is a little annoyed that they’re being forced to defend the belts again but Velvet calms her down and states what we all know to be true: the BP are the entire Knockouts division. Velvet goes on to say that no one is a threat to them and this and that, and the segment ends with Lacey triumphantly announcing that they weren’t supposed to take the belts off and that she knew that all along.

Tara and Saritaylor are in the ring as the Beautiful People begin to make their way down the entrance ramp. I’m not going to bore you with the details of their entrance but it’s certainly sparkly this week. Tenay and Taz run down the rules for the match and when the bell rings, Tara decides she’s going to begin the match for her team. She tries to tell this to Sarita and Taylor, and when they don’t seem to get it, she demonstrates by shoving Taylor rather stiffly a few times to get her out of the ring. Taylor is like whatever and does what she’s told and Tara turns her back. Lacey is waiting for her and she’s looking pumped to start this match. The sultry blonde is decked in silver and black, and she’s ready for action. Lacey begins to dance around in the ring much to the chagrin of Tara, and Tara finally kicks her, doubling Von Erich over in pain. She slams Lacey down, rolls over her for a pin, but changes her mind and goes for a front guillotine choke instead. Tara shoots dirty looks over her shoulder at her partners while the referee tries to get her to let up on Lacey. Finally she spits at Taylor and Sarita, which is pretty unsanitary, and she picks Lacey up.

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Impact Feedback: May 3rd, 2010

Tonight on Impact, all of the Knockouts titles are on the line when The Beautiful People defend against Tara, Sarita & Taylor Wilde in a winner take all match. Will we crown new champions? Tune in at 8pm ET on Spike TV. Discuss the show in the comments!

TNA Impact Moving Back to Thursdays

TNA Impact is to move back to Thursday nights at 9pm beginning next week, it will be announced on tonight’s live episode of Impact. The news, first broken by Jason Powell of ProWrestling.net, means that the two-month Monday experiment comes to an end. The final Monday episode of Impact airs tonight at 8pm on Spike. … Read more

Impact Write-Up (April 26th, 2010): Two Thumbs Up For The Knockouts

This Impact Write-Up is bittersweet for me. As great of a night as this was for the Knockouts, I think of the repercussions it had. We learned last week that at this particular taping not one, but two Knockouts were ultimately injured and it’s unclear when they will return. One of the stars of tonight’s Impact, Angelina Love, suffered a few injuries thanks to the segment we will get to see. I’m not sure how bad her injuries were or if she will miss any time, so maybe someone in comments can clear it up for me. I want to dedicate this Write-Up to Angelina and our Zombie Hot goddess, Daffney. Get well soon and get back ASAP. TNA needs you both and so do all of the fans!

Now with the sap out of the way, lets get down to business. A lot of us were annoyed last week with the lack of Tara and Angelina in our lives and thankfully, TNA made up for it this week. Angelina and Tara squared off in one amazing post match fight that gave Knockout fans from around the world ample opportunity to get to their feet and cheer their faces off. But prior to that, there was a match featuring brand new Knockouts Champion, Madison Rayne, defending against the two former champions; Tara and Angelina.


Skip ahead to 3:45 unless you want AJ Styles hotness!

Before the match starts, we’re treated to a backstage segment featuring the Beautiful People and to say they’re unhappy about Madison’s title defense would be an understatement. The BP are downright furious that Madison has to step into the ring against two former champions. As Madison rants, she points out that doesn’t even need to be pinned in order to lose her Knockouts Title and Velvet makes a highly disgusted sound. They talk about how it’s total BPD and after a minute, Lacey is like “oooh. Boston Police Department.” An awkward silence ensues for a half second before Lacey starts getting stroked and informed that BPD stands for “Beautiful People Discrimination.” Velvet claims that the minute the Beautiful People get things under control, TNA management literally starts falling over themselves to try and find ways to screw over the group. Lacey declares that no one can screw them and Velvet very gently reminds her that they can’t screw the Beautiful People “over.” Lacey agrees to that as well as Madison stands in the background shaking her head. Velvet’s getting super upset so Madison intervenes and says that as the new Knockouts Champion she is going to take care of both Angelina and Tara tonight. With the way the two of them have been barking over the title as of late, Madison will easily be able to cleanse TNA of not one, but two ugly people tonight.

A video package is played highlighting all the events that have led up to Angelina and Tara feuding and finally it’s time for the match. Angelina is the first woman to make her way to the ring and the crowd gives her a great pop. We’re reminded that she lost her title at Lockdown without getting pinned or submitting, and Tara comes out next. Tara has her mascot in hand and the cameras cut to a view of the ring where the referee is having to restrain Angelina from running down the ramp and attacking Tara before the match even begins! Tara reminds stoney-faced and taunts her rival, while the music of the Beautiful People begins to play. As usual, they make their way to the ring as the solid, cohesive unit they are and I must say, I want Velvet Sky’s shoes added to my closet right freakin’ now. Can someone please find out where she got them? Anyway, they do their usual thing but in a fun twist of events, the referee ejects them which leaves Madison on her own for this match.

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Impact Spoilers: April 26th, 2010

Spoilers for next week’s episode of TNA Impact are below. The show airs at 8pm on Spike against the WWE’s three-hour Draft show.

Spoiler
* For the TNA Knockouts title, Angelina Love vs. Tara vs. Madison Rayne. Winner via schoolgirl on Angelina Love, Madison Rayne. Tara attacks Angelina Love after the match. Security runs out to break it up but can’t contain them. Tara cries and apologies and then attacks Angelina again takes her out. Love is left lying on the entrance ramp and is helped out by security. (Source: Wrestling News World)

Thoughts after the cut:

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Impact Write-Up (April 19th, 2010): Really TNA? Really?

For all the crappy booking we’ve been forced to watch on TNA as of late, this past Sunday’s Lockdown was a refreshing treat. The cage match between The Beautiful People and Angelina and Tara signaled the end of some old angles and the beginning of some fresh ones. We were privy to a Tara turn, a brand new Knockouts Champion, and the culmination of the Beautiful People who have now reached their highest peak. The thought of a face Angelina and pyscho Tara feud was salivating to say the least and the announcement of a Knockouts Tag Team Championship match for Impact with the stipulation that Daffney would have a mystery partner led to plenty of afternoon speculation of just who that could be. Impact looked promising and the Knockouts seemed to be floating leisurely up, up, up.

Then Impact aired and what we got was a horribly short, stupidly booked match that made little if any sense. An injured competitor made her return and it went unnoticed because she wasn’t given a ring entrance. Angelina and Tara were left off the show which lead to much shaking of the head. How can you have such a dramatic angle the night before and not have it picked up or even mentioned on the next show? We got to watch Lacey Von Erich wrestle instead of Madison Rayne, who’s Knockouts Championship win wasn’t given the proper respect. Then we had to watch a big, powerful woman go down to an aerosol can of spray and get pinned for her team. There wasn’t really anything good about Impact. There wasn’t anything bad, either. It was all ugly considering everything that could have been done.

As I stated earlier, Daffney and ODB weren’t given entrances. This random ass pairing is pretty ridiculous in my opinion. It’s great that they decided to use someone different, but to pair her with Daffney? These two have nothing in common and to my knowledge, no previous interaction with one another. Maybe TNA were going for the comedy effect by making these two oddballs a team but it simply didn’t work. They were already in the ring as the pre-match glitz came to fruition which made it even more strange because TNA went out of their way to promote this match as something that could potentially be interesting. Whatever, right?

As the Beautiful People come to the ring it’s clear that the new Knockouts Champion isn’t going to be wrestling tonight. Madison is dressed in a little black dress with strappy wedge sandals. Despite all this, the ring announcer says she is going to be in the match anyway, while Lacey is the one at ringside. Madison didn’t even try to hide the can of what we’re going to call hairspray for the sake of this recap. I mean you can just see it and tell she is going to use it and that’s how the match is going to end. After TBP did their thing, Daffney and Lacey are two who decide to start the match off. It takes all of two seconds for Lacey to change her mind about that and she tags out to Velvet Sky before the match even properly begins.

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Impact Feedback: April 19th, 2010

Impact is going live tonight, so be sure to watch to see The Beautiful People take on Daffney and the partner of her choosing in a Knockouts Tag Team Title match. To see all the Lockdown fallout, tune in at 8pm ET on Spike TV. Discuss the show in the comments!

Tag Team Match Announced for Impact

The Beautiful People including new Knockouts Champion, Madison Rayne vs Daffney and a partner of her choosing has been announced for tonight’s live Impact. The show airs at 8pm ET on Spike TV. I wonder if said partner will be a newly-heel Tara? Given all the stunts they’ve pulled of late, why not throw two … Read more

Impact Write-Up (April 12, 2010): Leather and Lace? More Like Bondage and Beat-downs.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months, it’s plain as day to see that the Knockouts division is slowly going down hill. The girls are being turned into pretty face divas instead of being allowed to get down and dirty, and be the Knockouts we all know they can be. This week’s Impact was another sign that the times are changing with the little Florida based company that desperately wants to compete with the billion-dollar empire that calls Connecticut home. Last week’s lock box disaster included contract winner, Velvet Sky, announcing that she would be facing Angelina Love in a Leather and Lace match. We got that match this week (sort of) and a lot more.

Angelina is the first competitor to make her way to the ring. I’m not seeing much lace on her outfit, but whatever. She’s got the TNA Knockout Championship strapped around her waist so I guess she can do and wear whatever she wants. That’s fair. She looks gorgeous, either way, and right at home with that title. The crowd gives her a nice reaction and it’s cool to see Angelina as champion again even if she won it in a cheap way. Velvet comes out second and she’s got her title and a microphone. She stops at the ramp and announces that tonight’s match is not going to be leather and lace because none of the perverts deserve to see her goodies (nevermind that she was more covered up this week than usual). Angelina rolls her eyes, not surprised, because she knows better than anyone than Velvet is all about shenanigans. Velvet smiles so pretty and says that tonight she is going to face Angelina in a handcuff match and that she was gunna whip that booty. Angelina perks up and gets annoyed, especially when the referee starts to manhandle her. He slaps those cuffs on her pretty tightly and Velvet makes her way to the ring once Angelina is secured.

To Velvet’s surprise, Angelina is the first to mount some offense. She stiffly kicks Velvet as she’s slipping between the ropes. Velvet goes down and begins screeching her head off, while Angelina happily puts the boots to her ex-best friend forever. The referee eventually pulls Angelina off Velvet, which gives the devilish Miss Sky the chance to grab the Knockout Championship and hit Angelina with it. Angelina goes down like a ton of bricks and Velvet takes control. She motions for the microphone and tells everyone that she forgot something. The match is now under “I Quit” rules. Velvet starts to beat on Angelina and show her who the true beautiful person is. Angelina basically has no fight at this point because well she’s handcuffed and got smacked with a gold belt. The beat-down is pretty weak, but props to Velvet for protecting Angelina during it. Velvet continues her offense and in a really cool spot, she starts choking Angelina with her own hair. Once Velvet tires of that she gets up, grabs the microphone, and demands that Angelina say those two magic words. Of course Angelina refuses.

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Impact Feedback: April 12th, 2010

Tonight on Impact, Angelina Love takes on Velvet Sky in a ‘Leather & Lace’ match following last week’s Lock Box Showdown. Who will come out on top? View spoilers for the show here. Remember: Impact begins at 8pm ET tonight and every week going forward on Spike TV. Discuss the show in the comments!

TNA Impact Moves to 8pm Permanently

Following this week’s experiment, TNA President Dixie Carter has announced that Impact will be moving to 8pm permanently as of next week. The show had been floundering against WWE’s Monday Night Raw at 9-11pm but saw some ratings growth this past Monday. Be sure to make a mental note to tune in on Mondays at … Read more

Impact Spoilers: April 12th, 2010

Spoilers for next week’s show, including the ‘Leather & Lace’ match below:

Spoiler
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky, non title Leather & Lace match. Velvet says she came to her senses and this isn’t a leather and lace match because none of us perverts deserve to see her goodies. Instead, Angelina will be handcuffed while Velvet kicks her ass. Velvet hit Angelina with the Knockouts Title and then announces this is also an I Quit match. Lacey and Madison run down to join in the beatdown. Tara runs out for the save. After unlocking Angelina’s hands, Angelina goes to shake hands with Tara but she just walks off in disgust. (Source: Wrestling News World)

Xplosion/Webmatch: Tara def. Madison Rayne with the Widow’s Peak.


Thoughts after the cut:

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How Did the Knockouts’ Lock Box Showdown Help Impact’s Ratings?

Last night’s edition of TNA Impact scored a 0.9 rating with a show that aired in an earlier timeslot of 8-10pm.

The episode, which centered around the Knockouts in a game of ‘Lock Box Showdown’ leading to a striptease at the end of the show, improved immensely from last Monday’s dismal 0.56 rating.

The opening quarter with Christy Hemme and The Beautiful People backstage scored a 0.87. The match itself scored a 0.98 and 0.93 on either side of the commercial break. Finally, the overrun from 10pm onwards, which saw the results of the Showdown, Angelina winning the Knockouts Title and Daffney forced to strip, scored a 0.97.

Looking at the data, the three highest quarters were for the Knockouts match and the overrun.

Obviously, the rating can’t be wholly attributed to the Knockouts as there were other top TNA talents in two out of those three quarters including Kurt Angle and Mr Anderson in a previously advertised ladder match, however to an extent, this experiment was a success. It looks as though TNA’s constant reminders about the Showdown match as well as the results at the end of the show paid off, just as they should have done given the amount of time this was given.

Ratings data courtesy of ProWrestling.net.

Thoughts after the cut:

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Impact Write-Up (April 5th, 2010): Are We Knockouts or Are We Divas?

Wow, I don’t even know how to start off this Write-Up. First, I guess, we all got a surprise last night when the 8-Knockout Tag Team match that was announced was mysteriously changed into this hot mess of a match with rules that were more confusing than a episode of Lost. If you want an in-depth explanation of what went down, please go and listen to the Post Raw and Impact Show or just watch this video of Christy explaining what’s going to happen with the Knockouts tonight.

So there you have it. The Beautiful People kick off the live Impact after Christy explains the rules and what’s at stake. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne are looking adorable with their pink outfits and tag titles, but Lacey is missing in action interestingly enough. Velvet starts off by saying that the Knockouts continue to revolutionize this business and tonight the Beautiful People will own three of the four lock boxes. She claims they’re going to get the spider and squash it like they should have done ages ago. Then she says they’re going to get the open contract so they can dominate whoever they want, and last but not least, they’ll get the TNA Knockout Championship, which is apparently the highest honor for women in wrestling today. Madison takes her turn speaking next. She agrees with “Vel Vel” and says tonight the Beautiful People will get it all; everything they deserve and everything they are owed. While she’s talking, Lacey von Erich walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a smile and a fuzzy white towel. She takes front and center and says no one will ever forget the night they saw Lacey von Erich strutting around in her bra and panties.

LVE: “Tonight, everybody wins.”

Oh boy.

With the Knockouts basically spread through out the entire show, it’s awhile before we get another segment, but when we do, it’s Christy Hemme standing with Team Tara. Team Tara is comprised of soon-to-be former champ, Tara, Angelina Love, ODB, and Hamada.

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Impact Write-Up (March 29th, 2010): The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

After a crappy weekend and night for Diva action, fans turned to TNA in hopes that the Knockouts could shine a positive light on the face of womens wrestling. Impact featured a First Blood Match between TNA Knockout Champion, Tara, and her fiercest rival to date, Zombie Hot Daffney. But not only did we get that match, we got a new Knockout debut and a Knockout promo. Lots of lady action so lets get on with it.

The first thing we got to see tonight is the debut of a brand new Knockout and low and behold she is a somewhat familar face if you watched ECW a few years ago. Former ECW diva and Extreme Expose member, Brooke Adams, showed up on Impact in the role of Eric Bischoff’s personal assistant.


skip to 7:37

The segment opened up with Bischoff on the telephone with someone and the old man lover in me enjoyed watching this. I’ve always found Bischoff hot and I still do. But anyway, once Bischoff is done with his phone call, he hangs up and calls for Miss Something or the Other. The ex-diva formerly known as Brooke Adams comes shuffling into his office in a too short business suit, high heels, and *gasp* glasses. Bischoff tells her that there is going to be someone coming into his office later on and it’s up to her to stop that person, no matter what it takes. She agrees but before she can do anything, Jay Lethal walks into the picture, his stupid Macho Man Randy Savage gimmick apparently still going strong, and starts talking in jibberish which I can not decipher not even for the good of this Write-Up. Bischoff doesn’t really seem impressed and Brooke stands there like a pretty prop with no expression on her face. Lethal says something about the Megapowers and I start rolling my eyes and wish I hadn’t bothered with Brooke’s TNA debut.

Anywho, Lethal goes on and on, says something to Brooke, who finally blinks and moves a bit, and finally Bischoff has decided he’s had enough. He tells Lethal to go put together a main event or something, sends him on his way, and then looks up at Brooke. He tells her to go find Beer Money Inc. and of course she obeys, and hurries off. Well that wasn’t exactly “Serena Debut Awesome” now was it?

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Impact Feedback: March 29th, 2010

Impact is not live this week, but the action is enticing nevertheless, with Tara set to take on Daffney in a First Blood match. Tune in at 9/8ct on Spike TV to watch, and click here to read the show’s spoilers. Discuss the show in the comments!

Impact Write-Up (March 23rd, 2010): WWE Take Notes: It is Possible to Use All Girls in a Match

Twenty-four hours after Daffney and Tara wowed us with their impressive match at Destination X, the Knockouts were back in action live on Impact with an 8-Knockout Tag Team match that had a scary Diva feel to it in a sense that they were trying to cram as many Knockouts into one segment as possible. The team of Knockout Champion, Tara, Angelina Love, Sarita, and Taylor Wilde took on Team Beautiful People (Lacey von Erich, Velvet Sky, and Madison Rayne) and Daffney.

The Knockouts had the privilege of being the opening match this week and the Beautiful People were the first ones out. Madison and Velvet had matching outfits on again while Lacey stuck out like a sore thumb as usual. That said, the von Erich spawn looked gorgeous. Madison and Velvet had their tag team titles strapped around their waists and on a personal note, I love seeing these girls with titles. Their tag team partner, from Sybil, Texas, Daffney came out next in the same outfit from Destination X. She’s proudly carrying Tara’s kidnapped pet and the Beautiful, who have high tailed it to the outside of the ring, are freaking out over the gross little critter. Daffney is showing off the tarantula when Tara comes storming down to the ring. She gets inside before Daffney sits the spider cage thing down and threatens to stomp on it. Tara begs her not to do it, and that gives those sneaky Beautiful People a chance to sleek into the ring and start stomping and beating on Tara. For the second week in a row, Daffney and TBP work together and Tara is the victim of a four-on-one beatdown until Saritaylor come running to the ring to make the save in their horrendous, circus freak matching outfits. Angelina isn’t far behind them. Shit hits the proverbial fan and we have an eight woman brawl which has really gotten the crowd going.

So of course, TNA goes to commercial break.

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