Wednesday, December 10, 2025
Submit News

Raw Redux (May 17th, 2010): Nothing (and No One) Wasted

I think, if tonight’s Raw taught us one thing, it was this: less commercials means more Divas. Of course, that’s a bit of a leap in logic, but that fact is that tonight’s show, whilst being commercial free, featured more Diva face time than we’ve seen in a long time: 2 (count ’em, 2) matches, a backstage segment, and 2 faux-commercials. That adds up to a load of Divas being utilized, including 2 Divas that aren’t even technically apart of the brand. That’s a kind of efficiency I was beginning to think that the WWE didn’t know existed (that string of 1-minute-and-less matches didn’t help). Let us observe:

The beginning of our Diva-filled night was signaled by the appearance of a familiar face, home-country girl Trish Stratus. Unfortunately, that face was printed on a magazine cover rather than being flesh and bone, and we soon saw that Maryse was the face behind it. It was a slick move to get fans excited while risking disappointment, but it was smart to make Maryse be the one to “break the news”, so to speak. Let her be the one to put out the Trish Stratus bait and yank it back. It is a neat heat-generating maneuver that worked. Talking to the makeup woman, she details how Canadians suck and that fact that she’s French Canadian is a completely different thing. She starts trash talking Eve, and if summoned by the gods, Eve appears behind her, grabbing some baby powder and pouring it over Maryse’s head.

A makeup table fight ensues, with Eve smashing Maryse’s face against it a few times before the girls are separated. The fire in this feud continues to burn, and in this segment they showed real intensity. I mentioned this in the Post-Raw show, but I feel like whenever the WWE needs to inject some intensity in to a diva feud, they have the girls fight at the makeup station. But hell, it works! It allows the Divas to have a real, scrappy fight and makes the heat feel that much more real. It’s worked for countless Divas feuds before, and this one was no exception.

Read more

Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (May 13th, 2010): Maryse Lacks Team Spirit

This past Monday’s Raw was lacking in actual Divas action, but this week’s episode of WWE Superstars is looking to make up for that. It doesn’t hurt that these matches are consistently longer than their Monday night counterparts, so I’m all for the Thursday night matches. This week, we see Maryse and Jillian taking on Brie and Nikki Bella, I guess in some small way following up Maryse’s defeat of Brie over a week ago. Let’s see if the Bellas manage to get some measure of revenge:

Nikki and Maryse start things off, with Nikki getting in Maryse’s face, Maryse-style, and hitting a leaping snapmare. Nikki immediately goes and tags in Brie, and the two hit a leg split maneuver than sends Maryse flipping backwards. Brie goes for the pin and gets a 2-count. Right out of the pin, Maryse takes control, nailing Brie in the stomach and bringing her to her team’s corner and tagging in Jillian.

Jillian gets some licks in before backing Brie into the ropes, grabbing fistfuls her of hair and talking some trash. She Irish-whips Brie into the ropes, and Nikki makes a sly tag when Brie hits her side of the ring. Brie hits a cross-body off those ropes, allowing Nikki to come in and grab a bridged pin attempt. Jillian kicks out at 2. Nikki maintains control and whips Jillian into the corner, hitting a monkey flip after yelling “Bellas baby!” on the top rope. Not sure if that’s t-shirt worthy, but I appreciate her gusto.

Nikki climbs the turnbuckle but is distracted by Maryse. Jillian takes advantage of this distraction, getting a quick shot on Nikki, hoisting her across her shoulders, and hitting a Samoan drop. Jillian goes for the pin, but only gets 2. She keeps Nikki on the mat, planting a knee into her back and pulling her backwards by her hair. She relents when the referee gets close to the requisite 5-count, and brings Nikki over to her corner, bodyslamming her and tagging in Maryse.

They both hoist up Nikki–Jillian with the hands, Maryse with the feet–and slam her back onto the mat. Maryse tries for the pin, but Nikki kicks out at 2. Maryse goes for a suplex (dangerously close to the ropes.. watch your position, girl!), but Nikki blocks it, pounding Maryse on the back and shoving her into the ropes, sending Nikki to the mat and Maryse all the way to the floor. Wait.. what just happened here? Did both girls get knocked loopy? Anywho, Maryse gets back in the ring, but not quick enough to stop Nikki from tagging in Brie.

Read more

Raw Redux (May 3rd, 2010): “Where’s My Title?” BAM!

Post-WWE Draft Raw shaped up nicely last night as for the first time in several years, we actually got some storyline for the Divas! Following the recent SmackDown route of a backstage promo followed by a match, last night’s edition of Raw managed to pack every single Raw Diva onto the show — hopefully a sign of what is to come. Did last night’s Raw start as it means to go on? Only time will tell but from last night’s episode alone, it looks like SmackDown — and TNA for that matter — could have some competition on its hands.

The night started off with Divas Champion, Eve Torres backstage doing a photoshoot with her belt, with her entrance music playing in the background. You know… as you do. I’m sure Lady Gaga has her songs playing when she does her photoshoots too, Eve! Watch below:

In comes tonight’s Raw Guest Host, Wayne Brady of err… some sort of fame unbeknownst to this Brit writer. Anyway, he is paid to tell tells Eve that she’s his favourite Diva. Just as they begin conversing, they are interrupted by Jillian who gives us another fabulous cover of ‘Fame’ from the movie of the same name… hey, it can’t be any worse than that awful remake last year! I think I’ll take Jillian over that movie, two hours wasted. Brady gets rid of Jillian in a rather funny moment [“Go, go go go… gone!”] before saying his goodbyes to Eve. And for a second there, it seems like the segment is just going to end there — another silly Jillian singing skit. But wait! As Eve returns to her photoshoot, she sees that her title is not where she left it. All of a sudden, in comes Maryse and clocks Eve with the belt before putting it over her own shoulder and posing with it.

As everyone has been mentioning, this really was an epic little segment with the belt shot being executed perfectly by both Eve and Maryse. Eve really sold it well. These days, it’s becoming rare to see physicality like that among the Divas — especially on Raw so this was a great spot that totally caught me off guard. What a creative and fun spot!

Next up is the match between Maryse and Nikki Bella:

Read more

Raw Redux (April 12th, 2010): Way Too Quick & Far Too Slow

So Eve Torres won a Divas Championship shot last week in what was probably the least prestigious win of its kind. That’s not a slight to Eve, though, because the evening gown stipulation dragged the match down like a rusty anchor. Still, it was promising to see an actual championship match made, and we moved on to this week with Eve vs. Maryse in the cards. So, did this match surpass its dress-wrestling origins? Let’s see:

David Hasselhoff introduces the match. Eve makes her way to the ring, and she dances a bit with Hoff. Michael Cole calls this an “interesting” and “unique” way to kick off Raw. I have no idea what that means, because while Divas Championship matches may be rare, they’re not exactly “unique” fare. Maryse is next, and the match starts. Maryse gets things rolling with a vicious slap, prompting a hair-pulling exchange that the referee eventually has to break up. Maryse slips out of the ring and Eve gives chase, meeting a blow from Maryse as soon as she reaches her.

Maryse is showing more aggression than she has in a long, long time. I guess a championship defense will light a fire under anyone’s ass, but it’s nice to see her do more than run away–though she’s still doing that too. She slams Eve’s face onto the apron several times before tossing her back into the ring. Before Maryse can do anything more Eve goes on an offensive streak of her own, whipping Maryse into the corner, charging and getting an elbow to the face. Maryse tries to get in another lick but Eve again turns the tables, hitting a neckbreaker. She positions Maryse on the mat and climbs the turnbuckle, performing a beautiful moonsault.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t meet its mark, as Maryse rolls out of the way. Both Divas lay stagnant on the mat, and I’m pretty sure Eve knocked all the wind out of herself. God, that’s gotta hurt. Maryse laughs at her misfire, slapping her on the back of the head and standing her up for the French Kiss DDT. Even blocks it, though and, with that momentum, rolls Maryse up into an interesting bridge pin. She gets the 3-count and is the new Divas Champion. Eve celebrates while Maryse screams (in agony?).

Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of April 5th, 2010

Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser. Click each image to see it full-sized.

A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.

As Steven is in Berwyn for SHIMMER, joining us this week as a special guest is John Canton from our family site TheJohnReport.net. He says: “Thanks to Melanie for the invite. I’m a closet Style Jury fan. I’m a straight male that loves women, but also has opinions on fashion because I was raised mostly by my two older sisters since our parents worked so much. I was also told by my dad that “the shorter the dress, the better…most of time” and those are words to live by, quite frankly. Style Jury combines two of my favorite pastimes: staring at women and writing. Now I’m doing both at once! I should add that it’s a shame we’re not writing about Mickie or Maryse since they’re my two favorites. Bad luck for me.”

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Cryssi: On a night where the fashion made me die a little inside, Alicia managed to look the best and that’s not saying a whole lot. I wasn’t a huge fan of this dress but at least she managed to match her shoes to it which is a great achievement seeing as how the other divas mostly failed in this area. Small victories. 7/10
Erin: I know I’ve blasted animal print on dresses before (Rosa and Tiffany at the Hall of Fame), but this dress isn’t meant to be formal, as those were. The print suits this dress so much more because of that; it’s short, shiny, and works well on Alicia’s body. The colors are nice too–no tacky blue–and the print is able to dominate the dress without competing with various cutouts and necklines, so it doesn’t look like some busted prom dress. From the print to the color to the cut, this is a perfect look for Alicia. 9/10
John: Incredibly fit woman that can pull anything off, really. I like how short this dress was although that walk she does bothers me. It looks like an older woman with a broken hip or something. I know it’s a “sassy walk with attitude” but you need to get that checked out, girl. 7/10
Melanie: Absolutely gorgeous! This dress fits Alicia perfectly and complements her skin too. She really does look like a million bucks. I really like the detailing on the dress too… yes, it looks like bee stripes but personally, I didn’t see that until it was pointed out on Raw. I saw a fashionable, sexy dress. Perhaps one of my favourite Alicia looks ever. 10/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Cryssi: How shocking. They both wore red. These looks are basically identical except one has some fancy little crystal-esque designs on her dress. Neither of these looks are special and it’s to early in the morning for me to try and tell them apart. 5/10
Erin: The shape of Brie’s dress suits her really well, and I like that she keeps it simple and lets it work on its own. For once, the flower in the hair doesn’t look out of place. It’s a very simple but lovely look, and I can always appreciate when a Diva shows restraint when trying to look sexy. Nikki’s is almost identical to Brie’s look, but with detailing at the top. I loved the simplicity of Brie’s dress, and this dress lacks that. I feel that the Christmas tinsel-like detailing could be lost, and as Brie’s dress proves, it would be better without it. 6/10
John: Doesn’t matter what they wear, they always have that “wholesome” image to me. It’s fine, but they don’t scream sexy to me often enough. Their dresses were just okay. They have nice figures, so they can work anything they want. 7/10
Melanie: I think the Bellas looked prettier than they usually do in these red dresses but frankly, I think there’s far too much material here. I think they should have opted for something more form-fitting that shows off their bodies. This is just like a homecoming dress. 5/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

Read more

A Supersized Unwrapped: Eye Candy for Weeks of March 29th & April 5th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Angelina Love‘s Twisted Steel
Grade: Sour. Angelina Love, in her trademark trashy ring attire here posing backstage at the Impact Zone. I like this bright blue but seriously, Angelina’s ring attire is far too complicated and perplexing for anything to stand out. I mean just look at the top — you have blue, then you have animal print and then you have a black sequined boob tube. Good lord. The backgrounds in these shots provides an interesting contrast but honestly, it just looks odd and not nearly as abstract as it should.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=3038383]

Chelsea‘s Could It Be Magic?
Grade: Sour. Poor Bellas, always stuck with the lame outfits to placate that week’s Raw guest host. This photoshoot is hilariously silly with Brie and Nikki in PVC magician’s assistant outfits. I don’t know about you but these just look like bondage outfits to me with hats and wands thrown in. Very PG!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=3038380]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Read more

Raw Redux (April 5th, 2010): All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

Last week’s Raw brought a level of disappointment that made me vow to never again underestimate the WWE’s ability to undervalue the Divas. So, maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed by Raw as I normally would be. Sure, the match this week was based on a lame and degrading idea, but at this point I’m not expecting anything better.

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying “all dressed up and nowhere to go”, which means, in a fashion, that you’re prepared for something that’s not going to happen. This applies pretty well in this case, as Diva fans, the gluttons for punishment that they are, are continuously hoping for the best. They’re prepared for something interesting, exciting, or at the very least respectable. But if you look at the last few months of booking for the Raw Divas, you would know that it’s not going to happen–at least not anytime soon. Unless they take a hard left turn, it’ll be a while until we’re treated to something that demonstrates that the Raw bookers have an ounce of respect for the Divas. Until then, we’ll be treated to matches like the one that took place tonight. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t a trainwreck, but the whole idea of it speaks volumes about the respect (or lack thereof) that the Divas receive. It was close to being a perfectly acceptable match, but one addition, one finishing touch, threw it out of whack. That “touch” was totally unnecessary, and served to pretty much ruin the match for me.

The match in question was a “Dressed to Impress” battle royal, in which the winner would earn a shot at Maryse‘s Divas Championship. That’s a great idea, because we all know that the only thing that could top the awkwardness of a battle royal is a battle royal where the competitors have to wear dresses. Why were they wearing dresses! Why, to fit in with this week’s GM of course! Who is he? I don’t know, but who gives a shit, right? I say bring on the hot mess!

We’re joined at ringside by Maryse, who takes her spot at the commentary table. Surprisingly, each Diva gets her own entrance, which I assume is an effort to show off their fancy dresses. I can’t say I like any of them very much, but I don’t blame them for not pulling out the good duds–you wouldn’t want to risk ruining them when you’re tossed over the top rope. Anywho, we’re joined by Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes, Jillian, Katie Lea Burchill, Brie and Nikki Bella, and Eve Torres. Maryse trashes all of their looks, but puts special effort into dogging Eve. It’s not secret that she’s going to win this match; she gets the last entrance, a stare down with Maryse, and special emphasis on commentary. If that doesn’t allow you to telegraph Eve’s win from a mile away, you’re just not paying close enough attention.

The match starts and the Divas break off into pairs, all except Rosa, who charges at the Bellas and pretty much jumps out of the ring. It’s a messy exchange, but the Bellas eventually complete what’s left of her journey and heave her over the ropes and out of the ring. Rosa is eliminated. Soon after, Brie and Nikki are eliminated, with Katie Lea and Alicia doing the honors. Brie & Nikki Bella are eliminated.

Read more

Raw Redux (March 29th, 2010): I Shall Never Underestimate the WWE Again


My thoughts exactly, Mickie.

Now, that title may sound like I actually enjoyed the action from last night’s Raw, but anyone who watched the show would know that that just isn’t possible, unless you enjoy watching acute forms of torture. What I mean by the title is that, like last week, we always claim that the WWE’s treatment of the Raw Divas cannot possibly get any worse. I mean, we go from a 1-minute match to a 50-second match and many of us jokingly suggested that the WWE can do better than that–they can get the matches EVEN shorter! Needless to say, they met that challenge head on and delivered a match that somehow, by the grace of Zeus (who, by the way, I picture looking like Liam Neeson dressed in shimmering armor) was even shorter, more pointless, and an even greater waste of talent and time. Like I said, I’ll never underestimate the WWE again!

Now, getting into the specifics, we started the show with what was obviously an omen for how things were going to go. We are told that tonight, in keeping with the theme of the show, which was hosted by Rob Corddry and Clark Duke from “Hot Tub Time Machine”, we would be treated punished with a hot tub “match”. As it turns out, it was more of a hot tub contest, with the winner being the one who stayed in the hot tub the longest. Tiffany, Rosa Mendes, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella are sporting bikinis and seated in a rather unhygienic looking hot tub with the night’s hosts.

Now, I know as well as you that the punchline is coming from a mile away–unattractive person enters the hot tub and chases the men away. But still, someone suggests that the winner get a shot at the Divas Championship. Great, because that’s just what we need! It’s been about a year since a man won a Divas-only distinction. We’re due, yes? Obviously, that was not meant to be taken seriously because, as you see, we’d then have Mark Henry challenging Maryse, and I don’t think anyone’s holding their breath in anticipation for that. Oh sorry, did I spoil the ending for you? Sorry. Watch the “contest” below and try to enjoy it regardless:

PART 1

Read more

In Pictures: Divas at WrestleMania Art Expo

With their WrestleMania status still up in the air, the Divas had much to keep them busy as they arrived in Phoenix, AZ for week-long festivities. Last night, WWE held it’s annual WrestleMania Art Expo with several of the Divas on hand, with some even showing off their artwork. But who cares about their drawings … Read more

Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (March 18th, 2010): Bravo, Bellas

Last night’s episode of WWE Superstars saw The Bella Twins return to action from yet another hiatus, and I don’t know about you but it looks as though they’ve improved from the last time we saw them. Perhaps their mom, dubbed the ‘Bella Mom’, who is in attendance proved to be a lucky charm? The Bellas took on the veteran team of Jillian and Katie Lea in tag team action. Watch below:

Before the match, we see Katie Lea cutting a rare promo in her cute British accent before being cut off by Jillian who breaks into a rendition of Britney Spears’ ‘3’. She, of course, is interrupted by the Bellas’ entrance and we have ourselves a match.

Bella #1 starts things out with Katie Lea. The two lock up before Katie slams Bella to the canvas and goes for a quick pin but to no avail. Katie hits a scoop slam and goes for an elbow drop but the twin moves out of the way. The twin then applies an armlock on Katie and hits a beautiful arm drag running up the turnbuckles. She then tags out to Bella #2 who hits a sunset flip on Katie.

Katie begins taking control of Bella #2 with a knee to the stomach and throws her into the corner however the twin counters with a jumping snapmare. Katie kicks out of a near fall and takes control again, shoving the Bella into her corner and tagging out to Jillian. Jillian throws the twin against the ropes but she counters with a kick to Jillian’s face and throws her into the corner for a well executed monkey flip, meanwhile tagging back out to Bella #1. The Bellas hit a double clothesline but Jillian kicks out of a pin fall.

Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury Returns: Week of March 8th, 2010

Divas beware, we judge what you wear! Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury. We compile the looks from the week gone by and mark each look on a scale of 1-10. At the end of the scoring, we work out the combined score for each look and the Diva with the highest combined score is our winner and the Diva with the lowest combined score is our loser.

A few rules: We only judge outfits/ring attire that we haven’t judged before or we have already seen several times on TV before. If a Diva is seen in more than one outfit in any given week, we mark them as ‘#1’, ‘#2’ and so forth.

So, let the proverbial runway show begin!

THE BELLA TWINS
Cryssi: I don’t even know what this outfit is. I guess it’s some magician’s assistant type of thing. Either way, it’s ugly. Good thing the Bellas have their fit bodies and good looks, because that’s the only thing that helps this thing. 2/10
Erin: Those dresses kind of look like re-purposed garbage bags. Not cute, to say the least. Not liking the pink on them, either. Maybe they should have stolen Scarlett Johansson’s wardrobe from “The Prestige” if they wanted to rock the sexy magician’s assistant look. 3/10
Melanie: I guess it was obvious they’d be dressed as magician’s assistants but lulz, they could have done a better job. This looks like the Pleasure Chest version of a magician’s outfit if you catch my drift. 2/10
Steven: Looks like someone took a pair of scissors to Trish Stratus’ old black and pink gear. Definitely not the most practical outfit, but I think it serves it’s purpose here with the magic theme and all. 6/10

EVE TORRES
Cryssi: This is gorgeous and I absolutely love it. With Eve’s complexion, the shimmering green material absolutely pops. She looked beautiful on Raw this week. 9/10
Erin: I like the turquoise color, but not her tights’ design scheme. I just don’t like the design of them in general. As pretty as the color is, I’m just not feeling it as a whole. It doesn’t really look like “wrestling attire”, if you get what I mean. It sort of looks like a tank top and shorts modified to work in the ring, and I guess that’s probably the point. It looks awkward to wrestle in. 5/10
Melanie: I love the green and the detailing that’s gone into the top and shorts to make it a seemless outfit but at the same time, it has a Ninja Turtle feel to it lol. It’s certainly eye catching and for that reason, thumbs up. 7/10
Steven: Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of this gear when I saw it this Monday, but it’s been growing on me ever since. Green is still not my favorite color, but Eve is working it out here. 7/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

Read more

In Pictures: Current & Former Divas ‘Get Lucky for Lupus’

The current generation of Divas bumped into the former generation last night in Hollywood when The Bella Twins and Torrie Wilson attended the same event. The trio of Divas aided lupus sufferers at a ‘Get Lucky for Lupus’ charity poker event. As has become the custom, Brie and Nikki were out in short black dresses … Read more

Raw Redux (Feb. 22nd, 2010) – What Took You So Long?

The bait and switch pulled at the Elimination Chamber PPV led many of us to believe that the WWE had bigger plans for the Divas Championship tournament finals. Perhaps a lengthier feud to build up such an important match? No, as it turns out, because they finally decided to have the match on a regular old ordinary episode of Raw. Watch the match below and see if it was worth all the wait:

It definitely surprised me when the Divas Championship logo passed over the screen. But I think, more than surprise, I felt relief–finally this tournament is over! Maryse makes her entrance, and Gail Kim follows. It is mentioned how badly Maryse treated Gail in their tag team match the night before, but other than that this doesn’t feel like something that has been built up over numerous weeks. It feels more like the beginning of a feud; one that started at the PPV last night. At any rate, I’m glad to see this match finally happening. Let’s get on with it.

Maryse goes for the attack at the start of the match, but Gail slips past her, catching her in a belly-to-back hold. Maryse strikes Gail to get free, but the next blow is missed, and Gail rolls Maryse into a pin. Maryse quickly kicks out. Maryse reversed an irish whip into the corner and charges at Gail, but Gail slips out through the ropes, allowing Maryse to run full on into the turnbuckle. Gail blocks a few attacks from Maryse and leaps back over the ropes, continuing the momentum into a pin attempt. Maryse kicks out at 2.

Gail goes on a string of offense, Maryse beginning to look sluggish. It’s only until Gail tries to bash her head against the turnbuckle that Maryse retaliates. She blocks it with her boot and hits Gail’s head against the target instead. She tosses Gail in over the ropes, but Gail quickly reverses momentum into an attempt at the Eat Defeat, but Maryse holds onto the ropes, blocking the move. She kicks Gail across the face and goes for the pin, getting a 2-count.

Read more

Raw Redux (Feb. 15th, 2010) – The Mystery of the Missing Divas Championship Tournament

If last week’s Raw was lacking in terms of build-up to the Divas Championship Tournament finals, this week was downright moronic. With Maryse and Gail Kim‘s long-delayed match still set for this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber PPV, one would be safe to assume that there would be at least some build up for it on the last Raw before the show. Just a little? Maybe even merely acknowledging it? Well, keep your hopes at ground level, kids, because the WWE disappointment machine was on full power this week:

Guest GM Jerry Springer comes to the ring for a special show entitled “WWE Superstars’ Most Intimate Relationship Secrets Revealed”. If you’ve ever seen Springer’s show, you know that it only features the trashiest of the trashy (think topless midget fights), so this was never destined to be flattering for any individual involved. Springer introduces Kelly Kelly, whose secret is that she’s pregnant! Yep, she must be early along, because we all know nothing says pregnant like washboard abs and a belly-baring top. She tells Jerry that she doesn’t know who the father is, in a move more akin to Maury Povich’s show than Springer. But whatever, just go with it. All you need to know is that Kelly is the village bicycle.

She brings out the first possible father, Santino. He calls Jerry Maury and details the situation that he thinks got Kelly knocked up. Kelly then tells him that she needed someone else to “finish the job”. It’s at this moment that I wonder what happened to the WWE’s PG aspirations. I guess they go out the window when someone like Springer’s on the show. Still, I’d be pissed if I were a parent who brought my kid to the show.

She says she needed someone with more experience, and this prompts Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler to be brought into the mix. A few dry heaves later, Brie and Nikki Bella come out with a revelation of their own. They say they saw someone else with Kelly, and Nikki breaks in to announce that Brie is a man. They catfight, Springer style. After the fight is broken up, the next possible baby daddy is brought out, and Chris Masters enters. In response to this, Eve Torres comes busting in with her best impression of a Springer guest, trash talking Kelly for “stealing her man” and fighting with her. She then reveals to Chris that she had cheated on him with the Great Khali, who comes to the ring and embraces her. The craziness simmers down, and Jerry reads the results of the paternity test, revealing the father of Kelly’s 3-day old fetus. Science has come a long way, eh?

Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending February 6th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Bella Bowl II
Grade: Bland. This is the second in a series where the Bellas dress up in support of the two teams competing in the Super Bowl. This may be only the second time they’ve done this, but it’s probably the 75th time they’ve done the “sexy sports” thing, so it’s nothing that hasn’t been done over and over. What’s interesting is the cute “trash talking” poses–that’s what these shoots should be like. I’m not digging the football pants and heels combo, nor is the beer hat look very cute. Still, it’s nice to see Brie and Nikki play off each other like they do in a few shots. I’d much prefer a shoot full of that than trying to look sexy while doing the Heisman pose–save that type of originality for every chick competing in the Lingerie Bowl. Gotta say, though, that I’m on Nikki’s side on this one. Geaux Saints!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=2663850]

Jillian‘s Ripped to Threads
Grade: Sweet. Jillian’s style, despite her colorful and over-the-top personality, has always been on the simple side. There’s nothing wrong with that, though at times I’ve found her ring gear choices to be a bit uninspired. This is the first one I’ve really liked–the blue is really pretty, and the stitched portions are a nice interesting touch that don’t look tacky as they could if done in a less subtle way. Her makeup and hair are gorgeous in an understated way. Similarly, Jillian’s poses in this soot are rather simple, but she looks more natural here than she has in a long time. With such relaxed poses, this shoot almost seems the polar opposite of what we think of when we see Jillian, but I like that. Sure, the poses could stand to be a bit more exciting, but I’ll take anything that’s not a “duck lips” pose. It’s this type of natural feel that I like to see from Divas–funny that it’s coming from one of the most outlandish Divas, in terms of personality.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=2663869]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending January 30th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Katie Lea‘s Night Owl
Grade: Bland. At this point, I think complaining about all of Katie Lea’s photoshoots being the same is pointless, because it’s become obvious that they’re going to always stick to the same theme: creepy makeup, dark clothing, and strange, hand-focused poses. In order to prevent having the same complaint every time, I’ll just judge them by the rubric she’s developed for herself. For one, I love the dark eye makeup she’s got, because from far away it looks super creepy and is more effective than the swirly stuff she’s painted on before. The clothing is a bit restrained compared to what we’ve seen in the past, but the blue color is cool and pops against all the black, bringing out the bit of blue makeup around the eyes. The pants look like lace tights layered over a darker pair of tights, which kind of is a cool look and livens up the dark ensemble. As many of the reader have mentioned before, the blonde extensions look icky and are just begging to be plucked out. It kind of looks like she’s trying to do that in a few of her poses which, by the way, aren’t as interesting as they could be. It’s just more of the same in that department, and I feel like she’s got it in her to really go off the wall with them, but is just restraining herself. A bit of a break from the norm would do a lot for her, but then again, I’ve said that plenty of time before..
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=2626324]

Natalya‘s Dressed for Success
Grade: Sweet. There’s nothing simpler than a little black dress, and Natalya makes it look fantastic, taking it beyond “simple” with her killer figure and an interesting pyramid studded belt. Those belts usually have a more “punk” feel to them, but here it actually looks kind of chic. The black heels finish off a completely black color scheme, which I admire Natalya for sticking to. Some might try to force in some color or manufacture some excitement, but Natalya kept it relatively subdued and it completely works for her. The fact that the dress has a high neck and long sleeves doesn’t even begin to make her look dowdy–it’s form-fitting and, as I mentioned before, her rocking body gives the dress its edge. The shoot’s scenery–a locker room–doesn’t exactly go with the look, but it’s pretty interesting. Natalya poses in the lockers, making the best of a random setting and diversifying her poses. She just looks stunning, even despite the feeling I’m getting that there’s a stinky gym bag just outside the shot.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=2626330]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Read more

In Pictures: Bella Twins at ‘When in Rome’ Premiere

The Bella Twins rubbed shoulders with the stars in LA this past week, when they attended the ‘When in Rome’ movie premiere. The Divas were in the company of Hollywood hotties such as Bradley Cooper and Josh Duhamel [officially jealous]. Both Brie and Nikki looked cute in their outfits, I’m particularly feeling the white dress. … Read more

Raw Redux Does WWE Superstars (Jan. 28th, 2010): Predictable Fun

This week we’re continuing the trend of the Raw Divas wrestling on WWE Superstars, this time with some lesser-used Divas. Brie and Nikki Bella are teaming up to face the un-crowned JOB Squad of the WWE, Jillian and Katie Lea. Watch the match below:

The Bellas make their entrance, and Jillian and Katie Lea enter together to Jillian’s music (how weird is it to see Katie Lea walk out to Jillian warbling? it definitely doesn’t fit, to say the least). Brie and Katie Lea start things off, Katie latching her into a reverse bear hug maneuver. Brie gets free, turning it into a hip toss. She keeps a hold on Katie’s arm, wrenching it and dragging her to her corner, tagging in Nikki. They both grab Katie’s legs and flip forward in a move that isn’t so much effective as it is flashy (but that’s par for the course with the newer Divas these days, I guess). Nikki goes for the pin and gets 2.

Katie gains control and forces Nikki into the corner, tagging in Jillian. She gives Nikki a kick before tossing her across the ring by her hair. She takes Nikki’s arm and twists it back in a bit of an unorthodox half nelson. She woman-handles Nikki a bit before whipping her into the corner, going for an attack but getting an elbow to the face instead. She gives Jillian a kick before climbing the turnbuckle and hitting a flying body press. She goes for the pin, and gets a 2-count, quickly pulling Jillian up and tagging in Brie.

Nikki tosses Jillian off the ropes and hits an arm drag, then hitting another arm drag on Brie, landing her on top of Jillian. Brie attempts a pin, but no luck. Brie hits her leaping snapmare, then goes for a monkey flip but is distracted by Katie Lea, allowing Jillian to shove her to the mat. Jillian plants a few boots on her and chokes her on the ropes, relenting to the referee’s scolding and stepping back.

Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending January 23rd, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Bronzed
Grade: Sweet. For all their matchy-matchy photoshoots, the Bellas usually find a way to differentiate their looks. Here, Nikki’s wearing boots while Brie’s got on heels. Both go great with the dress, which is quite pretty on its own. It’s rather simple in design, but the shiny bronze color looks spectacular against their skin and hair, and the requisite flower in the hair is a pretty cream color that compliments the rest of the outfit greatly, not looking as tacked-on as their “hair flowers” have in the past. The poses aren’t very exciting, but I love the different ways they pose with one another. The poses may not always work, but it’s cute to see them leaning on one another as they often do, and the chair poses (that would probably look awkward with any other pair of Divas) are cool too. Cute outfit, cute poses? It might not make for a groundbreaking shoot, but I think that makes for a nice Bella twins shoot. I guess the old adage applies here–two heads are better than one–because if this were occurring with only one Diva (the outfit and particularly the stoic poses), it wouldn’t be half as interesting.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=2588739]

Katie Lea‘s Redrum
Grade: Bland. It’s been a while since we’ve seen a Katie Lea shoot (thanks to her ECW departure, I’m sure), but now she’s back to her old tricks–literally. This shoot is no different than the dozens we’ve seen before–spooky makeup, creepy poses, dark clothing. That said, it’s her forté, so she certainly does it well, but it’s just not that exciting when you’ve seen it so many times before. I’m not asking her to dramatically change her look, not at all. But it would probably help add some excitement to her photoshoots if she branched out into different clothing–still the same gothic feel, but more than just a top and trousers. Most Divas are able to mix up their looks without forsaking their characters, so it shouldn’t be impossible for Katie to do the same. She’s clearly perfected this photoshoot shtick, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t ever waver from it.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

[polldaddy poll=2588735]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Read more

Playing the Odds: The Divas Championship Tournament

Feeling lucky? In this new feature we’ve dubbed Playing the Odds, we will weigh the odds of certain Diva or Knockout events occurring, be it a championship win or heel turn.

We classify each like so: if the event’s occurrence is highly unlikely, it gets the Long Shot stamp; if it’s within the realm of possibility, it’s a Safe Bet; if it is extremely likely, it is a Sure Thing. Now, this does not mean everything we brand a Sure Thing is destined to happen–it just lines up with what we feel to be feasible from precedent or a person’s current position. Also, this is from our point of view, so don’t take this as fact or anything of the sort.

In this first edition, we will take a look at the ongoing Divas Championship Tournament, seeing which Raw Divas have the best shot at coming out on top. We may not be in Vegas, but we’re placing our bets anyways–take a look at ours and make a few of your own in the comments.

Alicia Fox
Odds: Safe Bet. Even though the WWE has been noticeably fickle about giving Alicia big pushes (they’re more of a “now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t” type thing), she is certainly a rising star in the company. They have felt comfortable giving her title shots before (twice, actually), and though her pushes were always short lived, they showed that she’s not destined to be merely a background player. Comparatively, a Diva such as Layla, who is still pretty much a background player, has never seen the kinds of pushes Alicia has been given. This makes us believe that Alicia might have better luck than her “replacement” (remember, Alicia was Michelle’s tag along first). This year could hold Alicia’s big breakout, and winning this tournament or even giving a good showing in it could effectively kick-start that. Though, as promising as her future looks, the WWE’s fickleness when it comes to her makes us hesitate to give her our full confidence in this tournament. It’s certainly possible that she could go all the way, but we’re not going to be betting the farm on it either.

Brie Bella
Odds: Long Shot. Yes, she’s already out of the tournament, which makes this sort of irrelevant, but when looking at it from an objective standpoint, pretending that the match had not taken place yet, it’s quite the long shot to picture Brie getting pushed all the way to the title. It’s not that we lack the faith in Brie having success on her own, but with the way the WWE books Brie and her sister–that is, extremely inconsistently–it’s tough to imagine the WWE giving either of them a title run. They seem to only use them in the ring when they need extra bodies. Otherwise, it’s escort duty fro the GM of the week. Bottom line, there’s just been no real investment made in the Bellas by the WWE. Until the WWE starts taking them seriously as competitors, they pose no real threat.

Read more to see how the other Raw Divas’ odds stack up.

Read more

Unwrapped: Eye Candy for the Week Ending January 2nd, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Note: We missed a Bella twins shoot from a few weeks ago, so I’m covering it now. I do not hold responsibility for any possible overdose on the Bellas suffered during the viewing of this post.

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Goaltending
Grade: Sour. Continuing with the “Bellas do sexy sports shoots” trend, Brie and Nikki are posing in front of a goal with hockey sticks. I’m not quite seeing the point of the Bellas doing a hockey-themed shoot, and I see even less of a point of doing it the way they’re doing it here. The poses are pretty dumb, especially the ones using the sticks in a “suggestive” manner–it just looks silly and about as subtle as a hammer to the head. That, paired with their clashing outfits (Brie in a baseball-type shirt and skirt and Nikki in a dress) make for a confusing photoshoot. It’s like they took a meh concept and injected it with so many different ingredients that it came out stinking to high heaven instead of just being boring. I vote that the Bellas take a break from the contrived sports-themed shoots and do more shoots like the one below..
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”497″]

Brie & Nikki Bella‘s Marigolds
Grade: Sweet. Unlike the shoot above, the Bellas keep it pretty simple in this one, relying on their matching outfits and twin chemistry to drive the shoot. Personally, that’s how I like these tandem shoots to be done instead of the bar advertisement-worthy ones the WWE ropes them into sometimes. The ring gear they’re wearing here is bright gold and chock-a-block with ruffles–it probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I like it for the theme they have going with their gear. As long as they keep it the a single color, these tights can keep from looking too tacky. Their poses, without the lame props to detract from the shoot, simply consist of them standing next to each other, but they compliment each other well and make it interesting–they play off each other well and don’t just look like two random girls put into the photoshoot together. This, I believe, is how the Bellas’ photoshoots should be–plenty sexy, but not cheesy.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.
[poll id=”498″]

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Read more

Diva Dirt Style Jury: Week of December 14th, 2009

Welcome to the Diva Dirt Style Jury! No more are the separate ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ lists, instead, we have come up with a scientific approach *cough* to compiling our weekly fashion column. The Diva Dirt team will weigh in on the different looks from the week gone by & mark each look with a score out of ten. The look with the highest average score will be our best look and the look with the lowest average score will be the worst look. Click each photo to see the look in full size.

Let the proverbial runway show begin!

ALICIA FOX
Erin: Is this a top and a skirt or a dress? Either way, I’m not too keen on it. The pattern could be cute on another clothing item, but here it looks a bit too “Malibu Barbie” for me. 4/10
Melanie: It’s er, unique? I know Alicia has her own quirky style and all, that’s cool but I just can’t… 3/10

THE BELLA TWINS
Erin: It’s not the smartest thing in the world to wear such short, tight dresses for an Evening Gown match, but the dresses themselves aren’t bad at all. I prefer the one with less lace, though. 7/10
Melanie: I like these outfits. I don’t think we can ever expect anything mind-blowing from the Bellas, but this is a step in the right direction. 6/10

Read on for more of this week’s outfits and to see who’s been branded our winner and loser.

Read more

The Diva Trade Report Card

It’s been two months since the Diva Trade hit us like a bus and changed the landscape of Raw, SmackDown and well, ECW not so much. Since that time, the seven Divas traded have had time to find their feet on their new brands — new feuds, new storylines, new love interests. For some it’s worked out and for others, it hasn’t. Two months removed, we’re going to catch up with our Divas and find out how the Diva Trade has affected them in the ‘Diva Trade Report Card’.

draft_bellasThe Bella Twins
The Bellas’ move to Raw has been wholly unthreatening, thankfully. Hardly ever seen in wrestling attire, the Bellas have served as eye candy to the Guest Host of the week. Not exactly something to write home about!
Verdict: Acceptable. An insignificant trade that doesn’t harm or hurt anyone.

draft_bellasBeth Phoenix
I kicked up something of a fuss when Beth was moved from Raw in October — but I’m happy to say, I’ve been proved wrong. The move to SmackDown has rejuvenated the Glamazon. The brief ‘Glamazon Squash Tour’ provided a monster heel-like reintroduction for Beth that many would expect for a Superstar, it’s rare to see such effort go into a Diva. In my initial look at the trade, I questioned whether WWE would pull the trigger on Beth vs Natalya or McCool but I wouldn’t be surprised to see a tweener-ish Beth challenge Michelle McCool for the Women’s Championship in the near future.
Verdict: Good. SmackDown should bring out a new dynamic to the Beth Phoenix character in the New Year.

More after the cut:

Read more

Raw Redux (December 14th, 2009) – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Last night’s Raw, in all its bloated 3 hour glory, was the annual Slammy Awards edition. Among the awards to be handed out were Diva of the Year, which was to be voted on by the fans at WWE.com. As we waited on pins and needles (not) to find out who won the award, we pondered whether the award would be given to support a storyline via rigging by the WWE or a popularity contest held by the voting public. As is turns out, it was neither, and I’ll explain my theory as we come to it.

We start our Divas action (not counting the Divas presenting awards throughout the night) with a Jerry Springer-esque evening gown tag team match. The babyfaces–Mickie James, Melina, Brie & Nikki Bella, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria are taking on the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes. Most look out of place and trashy in their gowns, and I would critique them (I’ll save that for this week’s Style Jury), but I’m much more distracted by the fact that they’re WRESTLING IN EVENING GOWNS. Well, this’ll be one mesmerizing clusterfuck:


Skip to 2:52

They start with a line-up face-off, trading verbal barbs before heading off their their respective corners. Mickie and Rosa start off the match, Rosa takign advantage and tossing Mickie around, pounding her head on the mat. They trade slaps, and Rosa tosses Mickie into the corner. Mickie blocks her attack, locking her head with her legs and hitting a hurricanrana. She then pulls her to her feet, hitting her Mickie-T to get the pin an the win for her team.

I have to say, this is one of the few moments where I’m glad that a Diva match was cut short. I’m glad that no more than two Divas had to humiliate themselves by wrestling in their dresses. Mickie and Rosa did as awkwardly as I expected, but hey, someone had to take the bullet. Now that the match is over, it’s time for the Diva of the Year Slammy to be awarded. The girls line up in anticipation as MVP and Goldust present the award.

Our winner is announced as, drumroll please…. Maria??? MVP’s reaction right before he reads her name says it all, and Maria looks as shocked as the rest of us as she goes up to accept her award, saying a typical acceptance speech before being interrupted by Batista in a douche costume, doing a Kanye West impression that’s not only awful but over 3 months old. If the joke were a carton of milk, it would have expired into a living organism at this point and, ironically, would be more worthy of a Diva of the Year award than Maria. Maria plays Taylor Swift as she left the stage and allowed Dave to be “escorted” off by security.

But as we watch the wild pink-polo-wearing douchebag be captured in his natural habitat, we’re left to ponder the reasoning behind this decision to crown Maria as Diva of the Year. Was is it truly a popularity contest, and she was just the most popular Diva among the fans? Or was it rigged for storyline purposes? As I said earlier, I believe it was neither, because I have a theory. Yes, Maria is popular, and I do not doubt that fans flocked to vote for her in the poll, but I don’t believe her star power amongst the casual fans is that much stronger than, say, a Mickie James or a Kelly Kelly.

Read more